How I Celebrate Naptime

At this point in our lives, nap time is like one of those meteor showers that won’t happen again until a billion years from now, or when the stars align and some sort of time travel portal opens, or any other very rare astronomy-related moment in time. Nap time is counted in seconds, and is never (ever) long enough. These times must be treasured, people.

What I do during nap time:

  1. Create checklists, making sure to also include any tasks I’ve already completed, purely for the satisfaction of checking them off and admiring my productivity at the end of the day.
  2. This:  chug-coffee-o
  3. This: giphy
  4. Discover even more of my life that can be purchased on Amazon Prime. And purchase it.
  5. Stare nervously at the baby monitor.
  6. Decide that every chore I need to do around here is too noisy, and must wait.
  7. Decide that showering is too noisy, and must wait.
  8. Decide that the safest activity involves not moving.
  9. Become enraged at every loud car that passes, every door that is slammed, and every dog that barks within a mile radius.
  10. Run, nay, leap down the stairs to catch the postal worker before they ring our doorbell with my latest Prime purchase.
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